Teachers Cause Sickness

                When I say that I don’t get sick very often, I mean it. Up until this past year I would only catch a cold about once a year, if that. But then life got busy between school, work, extracurricular activities, and homework- sleep got pushed out the window. Instead of getting eight or nine hours of sleep a night, I’m down to six or seven (if I’m lucky). It has been medically proven that sleep deprivation affects your immune system. Awesome, right? Now that I’m no longer getting enough sleep (ever), I’ve been getting sick more often. It really sucks, in case you were wondering.

                Teachers always encourage us to take challenging classes and push ourselves outside of the comfort zone we have for learning. Well guess what. The challenging classes they push us so much to take have a shit ton of homework. I’m sorry, but last time I checked the words “Spring Break” meant “time to lay around or go on vacation or do whatever the heck you want to do” not “hey there is an extra week of time you should have free to do even more homework!” Take a hint teachers: do NOT assign homework the Friday before Spring Break. Bad idea. I hope teachers realize that homework doesn’t get done as well as it otherwise would have on a normal school night. Most of us (and by most I mean all except those who don’t have lives outside of school) wait until Sunday night to finish all of our homework, which means we only have a short amount of time to complete all the bullshit y’all want us to have perfected by Monday morning. And then teachers get mad when we come back from break and don’t have everything ready and perfect for them. Sucks to suck, teachers. Maybe you shouldn’t have assigned anything in the first place, considering half of us are planning on turning our assignments in late.

                Some of us also have jobs because our parents want to teach us respect and discipline; basically it’s just their fancy way of saying they don’t want to pay for our stuff so if we want it we have to cough up the money. I’m working fifty eight hours over Spring Break simply because I have bills to pay. Sleep doesn’t fit into the agenda when there is work to be done. But I didn’t just want my Spring Break to be all about work, I wanted to hang out with friends as well. Three sleepovers later, I’ll be down to almost no sleep, I’ll have made my cold even worse, and I still won’t have my homework done.

                Dear teachers: don’t assign homework over Spring Break. Some of us have responsibilities that need to come first, others just want to go on vacation and spend time with their families. But part of that time is taken away. Why? Because they have a pile of homework stacked in the corner of their room waiting to be completed but being completely ignored until next Sunday night.

 

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Les Miserables

                Think of the last musical you went and saw. Was it a school play? Or maybe a Broadway show? I went to one last night and it was absolutely amazing. The musical wasn’t live, however, but a movie instead. It’s been a pretty popular movie lately- I would know, I work at a movie theatre.

                The movie is Les Miserables, and I personally thought it was amazing. The singing was flawless- and the fact that some of the actors were able to cry while they sang absolutely amazed me. The casting was also done to perfection- every actor and actress portrayed their character extremely well. I was unsure whether or not I would truly like the movie, but I absolutely loved it, and from what I’ve heard everyone else has too.

                The songs in this movie get stuck in your head so easily. I literally went home after watching the movie, got on YouTube, and listened to the songs on repeat. Eventually I got bored of waiting through commercials just to listen to songs I’d practically memorized, so I made my way to Pandora and started listening to the Les Miserables station. My life has been changed forever.

                The only thing I didn’t like was how long the movie was; the entire movie was sung, with maybe five words actually spoken (that is a rough estimate, by the way; I never actually counted how many words went un-sung). Two and a half hours of singing seems to drag after a while. The solos were really well done- they just lasted six or seven endless minutes rather than just a few.

                Les Miserables is absolutely amazing. It will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions, from laughter to tears, and I highly recommend it for everyone. There is a little something in Les Mis for everyone to connect with; even those that don’t believe there is. Especially the ones that don’t believe.

 

(322 words)

Extra Teeth

                You know how everyone hates going to the doctor? I’m definitely not one of those people- I actually don’t mind going to the doctor. Most hate going because of the needles, but personally I’m not afraid of shots. I don’t hate the doctor so much that I want to be one someday- is that dedication or what? There is one type of doctor though that I absolutely cannot stand.

                The Dentist. I HATE the dentist. I’ve hated them since… forever. I don’t know what it is about my teeth, but the dentists can never seem to figure it out. They never do anything right on the first try- it always takes more tries.

                Of course, today is Monday as I’m sure you all are well aware, and I had to make an extra trip to the dentist office because of my wisdom teeth. Think back to my usual Monday posts; have my Monday experiences ever turned out good? At my last check up, the dentist said I would be getting my wisdom teeth soon, and should think about getting them out next summer. Well, all four of them have already grown in. Yeah, I know. So there I am, sitting in the chair of unhappiness, with a dental assistant shoving a mirror into my mouth. She then rudely informs me that they aren’t my wisdom teeth at all- I just grew an extra set of molars. What the heck.

                It then turned out that the retainers I wear at night no longer fit because of the mouthwash I use. I rinse them in mouthwash, and the alcohol in the mouthwash eats dissolves them. So now I have to get new retainers fitted on Wednesday. Awesome right?

                I just want everyone to know of my latest experience at the dentist office, so that if this ever happens to you, you’ll have something to look back on. If your dentist tells you the next teeth you will be growing are your wisdoms, and you suddenly grow some extra teeth, don’t be surprised. If you go to my dentist, they might even start yelling at you for not knowing you were supposed to grow an extra set of molars. Oh and use alcohol free mouthwash, just to be safe. The lesson to be learned: don’t trust your dentist; all of them are full of lies. And extra molars.

 

(396 words)

At Least I Tried

                Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to try and cook. I can bake really well, but cooking is a totally different story. I just don’t understand how that works: I can make layered cakes with fancy frosting, but I can’t make Kraft Mac and Cheese right. It’s almost pathetic sounding, isn’t it? Okay, it’s really pathetic but you get the point.

                I woke up really late this morning, just in time for lunch actually, but I still wanted to eat breakfast food. I tried to make eggs, and that didn’t go well; I mean, how hard is it to make eggs? My dad always made it look so easy, but no. Apparently you have to keep stirring them around the pan so that they don’t stick to the bottom and burn. Strike one, my friends. I then figured some hash browns would disguise the burnt taste of the eggs, so I stuck some in the microwave. And I ended up eating them cold. Strike two.

                I’m sure by now you’re trying to guess what strike three will be. To be honest, there was not a strike three. This was just my most recent cooking failure, as my past attempts at food haven’t generally turned out all that great. I mean for goodness sake, I’ve made Mac and Cheese the right way maybe three times in my life. Every other time I’ve either added to much milk, forgotten the butter, not cooked the noodles all the way, or the worst one yet: forgotten to drain the water before adding the other ingredients. I think it’s safe that culinary school is out of the question for me in the future.

I’m just glad my mom is the chef in the family and not me- if I was in charge of dinner every night, we would most likely be eating sandwiches and cereal (obviously I’m very classy with my specialties). Of course, we would always have cake for dessert; I mean that’s basically the only thing I can make correctly.

 

(338 words)

Musical Music

                Think of your favorite radio station. What kind of songs do they play- are they pop songs, today’s hits, country songs, songs from other decades, a combination of random songs? How many radio stations out there include songs that are from your favorite musicals? Locally we don’t have one, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

                I searched the Internet for radio stations that included Broadway songs, and interestingly enough, there are some. http://accubroadway.com/ is a website that leads you directly to the station that plays all Broadway music. As a Thespian myself, I personally love theatre and theatre music. It’s refreshing to listen to music that isn’t crap like a lot of today’s hits are. These songs are written to entertain, and they are meant to be sung and danced to. They are written to express feelings and get a specific emotion across to the audience. That’s what I love about Broadway music: it is different, refreshing, and fun to listen to.

                So why do radio stations today not incorporate songs from musicals into their playlists? I think it’s because a lot of people aren’t familiar with theatre songs. But is it really so much to ask to play Hakuna Matata every once in a while? Come on, don’t lie. Tell me I’m not the only one who has dreamed of the day when you’re driving down the road and “Bend and Snap” from Legally Blonde the Musical comes on the radio. If I am, I’m sorry to hear that; y’all are missing out if you’ve never had that dream.

                Haven’t any of you ever wanted a break from Rhianna and Taylor Swift? Why not take a break from the normal, usual songs you hear every single day and try listening to something from Wicked? I know I would love to listen to The Little Mermaid instead of a plethora of rap songs- scratch that, “(c)rap” songs.

                And it doesn’t just have to be Broadway music- it could be any catchy, theatre songs. Glee would be a good example of this; how many times have you heard Glee on your radio? Probably not very many times, if even at all. Every now and then it’d be good to hear a cover of a chart topper rather than just listen to the chart topper over and over again.

                Why are radio stations so selective with the songs they play? I know they are trying to appeal to a certain audience, but why not give people a taste for other songs as well, rather than the same old stuff over and over again? I think it’d be a good change for the radio world. I mean, who wouldn’t want to sing along with their favorite Grease songs?

 

(457 words)

Love Never Fails

Every little girl grows up watching Disney princess movies and dreaming of the day she will find her Prince Charming. We imagine ourselves riding off into the sunset to live happily ever with some random hunky man who managed to sweep us off our feet. For the average, every day, not very rich, normal woman, this is just a fantasy. For the rich and famous, the sky is the limit to make their wedding dreams come true.

For instance, let’s look at one of my personal favorite couples in the world of fame today: Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher. The country star and the hockey jock couldn’t have seemed more different to the press, but they fit together like two pieces in a puzzle. I’ve always been a Carrie Underwood fan, from the first time I heard her sing on American Idol until now, but her husband was someone I hadn’t heard of before. Needless to say, they are two gorgeous people who seem absolutely perfect for each other.

 

Their wedding was a lot more extravagant than I was expecting, as she is from a small town in Oklahoma. From her dog wearing a pink tuxedo jacket, to the pink flowers covering everything, to the forty carat diamond tiara on Carrie’s head, the wedding exceeded my expectations. I thought they would stick to a more traditional, backyard wedding- but I was wrong! I loved the pictures of their wedding- and I honestly wish I could have been there.

                Everything about their wedding was pink- which is Carrie’s favorite color. Really, the only thing Mike had a say in was the tiara he bought her as a pre-wedding gift (it was forty carats of diamonds… the bar has been set very high, future husband) and the hockey puck table numbers to represent his career. I loved the class and tastefulness their wedding had- when you have money to spend like they do, weddings can be overdone and tasteless, but they managed not to do that.

                Mike and Carrie shared their first dance to Brandon Heath’s “Love Never Fails.” As I’m sitting here listening to this song, I imagine Prince Charming the hockey player and his Princess the country star slow dancing to its sweet melody, and I’m jealous. I mean come on, it’s a beautiful song and they’re a beautiful couple. How could you not be jealous of their happiness?

                Someday I want my Prince to come, but I want him to treat me the way Mike treats Carrie. You can just see it in their faces how much they care for each other, which is what I’m pretty sure most women in the world want someday (I mean Disney set us up to wish for these kinds of things, didn’t they?).

 

(461 words)

Wrong Spray, Girly

                Hairspray: defined by dictionary.com as a liquid in a spray container for holding hair in place.

                Pepper Spray: defined by dictionary.com as a defense spray agent derived from hot cayenne peppers, which causes temporary blindness and breathing difficulty.

                Quick question for ya, how do these two things relate? Have you ever used either one of these, or even better, both? Do you think their containers are similarly shaped? Are their labels similar? Do they achieve the same purpose? Last question: Do you think it’s possible to get these two sprays confused?

                Today our high school hosted State Speech Competition, which is the second round of competitive acting. Now I know a lot of strange things occur at speech competitions- it just makes sense, some of the people that compete are quite… colorful, if you will. Let me give you an example: It’s not every day that someone walks around with a giant sign that reads “free hugs,” but what’s even more rare is when multiple people have “free hug” signs. They all just hug differently- those involved in mime hug you without saying anything, those in improv hug you with forced enthusiasm, etc. And to be completely honest, that was one of the “normal” examples.

Here’s another one for ya: Just as we were nearing the end of the day, someone in the gym went to spray hairspray in her hair, but somehow mistakenly grabbed a can of pepper spray and decided to use that instead. Yes, my friends, you read correctly. She sprayed pepper spray in her hair. I don’t know how she missed the label, I don’t know if someone did it to her as a joke or something, but it’s gross. I didn’t realize what had happened until I went to help clean up around her area and BAM. Wall of nasty hits your face, your stomach churns, your nose crinkles, your eyes start tearing up, and that’s when you hold your breath and run away.

Note to self: Don’t ever spray pepper spray unless it is intended to repel. Trust me when I say this, pepper spray shouldn’t be messed with. If you are doing your hair somewhere in public, watch out that you are using the right kind of spray for your hair. (Or just use common sense).

 

(383 words)