Hello
Friends!
I
realize it has been awhile since I’ve written, but I’m happy (ish) to announce
that my Monday posts will be returning! For those of you just joining in on the
fun that is my blog, let me explain something to you: every single Monday, I
blog about whatever ghastly things have occurred for me. Mondays and I are not
well acquainted, and try as I might, I strongly believe Monday wishes to keep
it that way.
In
the past my Mondays have included broken alarm clocks, burnt fingers, and
bruises the size of softballs. Today, all three of these combined into one fabulously
horrible day.
The
alarm clock. Though I have recently purchased a new alarm clock, I can’t seem
to figure it out. Honestly, you would think the snooze button would be huge and
easy to find…but no. Apparently the alarm clock company decided they wanted to
make us poor, tired civilians work for our sleep. I vow to read the label next
time I buy an alarm clock, as I should have noticed the abnormally small snooze
button BEFORE I made my purchase.
The
burnt finger. Today I didn’t actually burn myself- but I came so close that I almost
gave myself a heart attack. The hair contraption blazed at 356°, and just about
hit my arm; but it didn’t, and I’m okay. Barely dodged a bullet with that one.
Last
but not least, the bruise. Two months ago, I tried to donate blood…and things
didn’t go well. I ended up with a giant bruise that hurt like nobody’s
business. I went back today to attempt to donate blood again, and AGAIN it didn’t
work. This time, I was sure to drink a ton of water so that I would be nice and
hydrated and my veins would be nice and plump and ready for sticking. Before
you can donate though, the nurses have to prick your finger and make sure your
hemoglobin levels are high enough. After four (FOUR!!) finger pricks, the
nurses determined my hemoglobin was .2 too low to donate. Point two. They said
it was because I didn’t have enough iron in my system due to Mother Nature’s
monthly cycle. Lovely right? Yeah, my bruised fingertips would agree.
All
in all, this Monday was the perfect way to start off the new term on the wrong
foot. I hope you remember to read the labels on your alarm clocks so you be
sure you are getting something worth waking up to. Try not to burn your pretty
little fingers- obviously you need to save them and keep them looking attractive
so that nurses can stab them and make them turn purple. But hey, it’s not like
I’m speaking from experience or anything.
(461 words)
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